Homesickness and culture shock: what to expect

The curve

Weeks one to three feel like a holiday. Everything is new, people are patient with your language, and the novelty carries you.

Somewhere between week six and week twelve the novelty runs out and the difficulty doesn't. This is the dip. It is not a sign the placement is wrong; it happens to almost everyone, including people having a great year.

Why language makes it worse

Operating all day in a second language is genuinely tiring in a way that surprises people. You are funnier, warmer and smarter in your own language, and it is lonely to be a simpler version of yourself for months. It passes as fluency builds.

What actually helps

• Go to the language course, even the weeks you can't face it — it is where you meet people
• Find one regular thing outside the house: a gym, a choir, a five-a-side team
• Set a fixed call time with home instead of scrolling family photos at midnight
• Cook something from home for the host family
• Plan one small trip four weeks ahead so there is always something coming

When to raise it with the family

Early. Most host families have no idea you're struggling until you say so, and the ones worth living with will adjust — a lighter week, a weekend to yourself, an introduction to another au pair nearby.