Daily life · For host families
House rules that prevent arguments
The unspoken expectations that cause most household friction — food, guests, noise, screens, phones — and how to write them down without sounding like a landlord.
5 min read · Updated January 2026
Food
Say plainly what is shared and what is not. Can the au pair cook their own food, eat whenever they like, invite a friend for dinner? Is there a shelf that is theirs? Ambiguity here makes people feel like guests in their own home for a year.
Guests and going out
Nobody wants a curfew at 24. What people do want is predictability: let us know if you'll be out overnight, guests in the common areas until 10, no strangers in the house when the children are alone with you.
Phones during childcare
This is the number-one complaint from host families, and it is easily solved by naming it early: the phone is away while you are with the children, and messages get answered in your break. Say it once, in week one, kindly.
Screens, sweets and discipline
The au pair needs to know your line before the children test it, because they will test it on day two. Write down your screen time limits, your snack rules, and what you do when a child refuses — and back the au pair up in front of the kids.
Ready to put this into practice? Look through real au pair and host family profiles — no account needed.
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