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40 questions to ask before you say yes
The video-call questions that surface problems early — for au pairs interviewing families, and families interviewing au pairs.
8 min read · Updated January 2026
Au pairs: ask the family
The answers you want are specific, not reassuring.
- Walk me through a normal Tuesday, hour by hour
- What exactly are my working hours, and when do they end?
- Which two days are mine each week?
- Can I see a photo of the room I'd have?
- Do you expect me to eat dinner with the family every night?
- Can I have friends or visitors in the house?
- Would I drive? Whose car, and insured how?
- How much do you contribute to my language course?
- Why did your last au pair leave?
- How do you handle it when something isn't working?
Families: ask the au pair
- Tell me about a time a child you were caring for got upset — what did you do?
- What would you do if my four-year-old refused to leave the park?
- How much have you actually driven, and on which side of the road?
- Have you lived away from home before?
- What do you want to get out of this year?
- How is your cooking? What could you make for the kids?
- What would make you unhappy in a household?
- Are you comfortable with our dog / our religion / our late dinners?
- What is your plan for the year after this one?
- What would you need from us in your first week?
Both: the awkward ones worth asking
Money, privacy and endings. Agree now what happens if either side wants to stop early, how much notice is fair, and whether the family helps with a flight home. Those conversations are easy in month zero and brutal in month five.
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